I worked full time before I had K-Kitten. I returned to my full time position only 6 weeks after her birth (three weeks of which were unpaid). I had a lot of reservations about going back to work, I could not imagine running off and leaving this tiny little creature without it’s momma for almost 10 hours a day. I did not sleep for days before I had to return to work. I worried about keeping up my milk supply, I hate pumping, and I fretted that something would happen while I was gone.
Before I returned to work, I purchased a double electric pump. I have a hate-hate relationship with that thing. I hate using it, I hate cleaning it, and I hate the numbers it provides me. I didn’t like having to look at the fact that I brought home x number of ounces vs the x number of ounces she ate. It’s a correlation that never occurred to me when she only ate straight from the tap.
Now that K-Kitten is 8 months old and I’ve been doing this for a while, the numbers don’t concern me as much as they used to. I’ve fought to make time to pump at work, which is increasingly hard to do when working in the field, and I have yet to have to supplement (although I thought I might have to a few times). I have never questioned my decision to pump at work, but there are some out there that feel that it’s a hardship on finances, career, and family relationships.
In this post, The Economic Consequences of Breastfeeding, there are arguments stating that breastfeeding and returning to work has an impact on mother’s income and overall finances of the household. It states, “…While a can of premium formula comes with a premium price tag, feeding infants with formula uses less of one of mom’s most precious resources: time.” I have to completely disagree with this. In the 30-minutes (give or take) daily that I spend with my pump, using and cleaning, and the time it takes my husband/caregiver to warm breastmilk and feed her, I couldn’t buy a high-priced latte. I can see how some mothers that choose to continue breastfeeding may decide to take more time to do so (a reduction in hours, etc.), but this is a choice, and not a cause-effect situation. If I chose to breastfeed and magically got a pay-cut, that would be different, but I am proof that it can be done without losing a dime at work. I’d like to think that I’ve missed less work because of breastfeeding.
Working, pumping, and being a “full-time” mom at home too, can be overwhelming. I feel guilty for it, but I look at my job as my “paid vacation”. I can only talk about baby poop, play peek-a-boo, and blow rasperries so much. Working forces me to get out and have some adult time. Because of that adult time, I feel I can fully dedicate myself to my daughter with a clear head and a lot more patience even after a stressful day at work. Being exhausted comes with the territory of being a working mom. It takes a lot of organization, perseverance, and planning skill that honestly I didn’t think that I had. Taking care of yourself and keeping a routine are mentioned frequently and I completely agree that there are things that you need to do to successfully work and parent without being overwhelmed.
I feel proud that both my husband and I work full-time and do whatever we have to do to provide the best life we can to our darling daughter, since neither of us make enough to live off of solely. Being a parent is hard work, no matter what way you look at it. I do wonder though, if my choice to work full-time outside of the home will affect K-Kitten in the long run.
There is an increasing number of statements arising that are directly related to working mothers and all kinds of side effects that this may have have on children. Just recently a study by a team at London University College links not only a parent’s body mass index, but their employment status to a higher risk of childhood obesity in their children. A Reuters Health article stated this about the study:
Children of mothers who worked full-time were 48 percent more likely to be overweight or obese than children of non-working mothers. That was with factors such as socioeconomics, parents’ weight and breastfeeding (which some studies have linked to a lower risk of childhood obesity) taken into account.
I don’t think working moms directly attribute to childhood obesity. Indirectly though, I believe that some working households could do better in terms of food choices based on convenience instead of health of the family as a whole. I try to make the best choices for my family in every aspect, and continuing to work is one of those choices I had to make. I think that because I work, my life and my daughter’s, is more enriched and exciting. I want to raise her to be an independent, strong, and financially savvy woman, and to do that I think I need to continue to work, aspire to new things, and of course… pay those bills.
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Do you work outside of the home? Do you enjoy a little time away from baby, or do you count the seconds until you’re reunited? Would you like to be a stay at home mom? Do you think a mother working has an adverse affect on the children?
4 Responses
Kurt says...
Who cares about obesity? Obesity is probably just one more psychological affect of growing up without a mother most of the day. Paid help can’t replace a loving parent. You talk like the material things you buy can replace the benefits of having you around to love your child.
I rent because I can’t afford to buy a home with just my income but I would be devistated to have to leave my child with anyone but my sweet wife. I don’t understand people like you.
Mother Unexpected says...
In my post, the argument was that obesity might be caused by mothers that work. Or at least have an increased risk of obesity.
I CARE ABOUT OBESITY! I don’t want my child to have to grow up with such increased risks for heart attack, diabetes, high blood pressure, and early death. I do worry that me being away may have an effect on my child, but I also want to put my child through a good college of her choice, provide her with healthy foods, and teach her good financial habits. I can’t do any of that without a second income in my home. The key in my situation is finding the right care, making changes in our lives to be away from her as little as possible. Because I work outside of the home does not make me an unloving parent, it makes me a responsible one.
I’m happy that it works for you. I’m sorry you don’t understand my point of view, but I do understand yours.
Esbee says...
I was born in a time when moms stayed home and raised the kids. Their job was the home, kids and meals and it was full time work with no weekends off. Then in the 60′s women were told they could be or do anything and moms started working outside the home. Here is what I see out of that…a mom goes to work 8 hours then comes home and does MORE work (house work, meals, kids, etc) but hubby comes home and rests…all I see out of this “empowering” women was just getting more work out of them. I chose to work but not have kids because I felt I could not do both jobs equally well. Something would have been neglected, and today’s crime rate statistics going higher and higher amongs youth (because no one is “minding the store”) show that the kids are ultimately the losers in this scenario.
Mother Unexpected says...
That’s interesting! I do feel like I have two jobs, working and coming home and taking care of the household, but at the same time, I’m blessed with a husband that sees all I do for us and helps out in any way he can. Although, I still won’t let him do the laundry…. I just don’t like pink socks. My hubby works 2 24-hour shifts, so he’s at home with our baby a lot. It’s refreshing to see a father take such a hands on role with his child. I think the crime rates are getting higher because parents are becoming more lax in general, and letting the children rule the roost so to speak. Discipline and moral teachings are very important.