Mother Unexpected

… the breastpump that is. It has come time to put away the whirring cyclic pumping machine with which I have became all too familiar. K-Kitten is 15 months old now and I have no more need to continue to pump at work. Now, with that said, this is far from the end of our nursing relationship! She has her cow’s milk and water while I’m away at work, but nursing and cuddling together is still something that is very much part of our lives.

Just yesterday, I was reminded at how grateful I am to still be nursing her. Father Unexpected was packing a great deal of her infant things to take to my brother-in-law for their upcoming arrival. K-Kitten being the adventurous one she is, decided it was the perfect time to “help” daddy with the chore. It resulted in an infant seat to the head. After a look of shock at her father, she ran to me squalling. After some words of comfort and more tears we nursed for about 30 seconds and she stopped and went back to “helping” again. It was truly as if nothing had ever happened. There was no hugging and petting and pleading or convincing that she was ok. It wasn’t a 15 minute ordeal. A bonk to the head that resulted in not so much as a red place was placated in under a minute by the wonders of the boob!

It’s been a while now since I have faithfully pumped however, and I’ve not been able to put the monster away. I keep thinking to myself that once I put it away in the closet it signals an end to this wonderful relationship, like once I do this one little thing, it’s all going to fall apart at the seams. Well, it’s true that K-Kitten does not nurse nearly like she used to, but it’s far from over. Leaving that ugly pump sitting in the living room collecting dust is doing nothing to ensure we continue to nurse at this point and quite frankly — if I didn’t pay so much money for it, I would throw it behind the tire of the car and run it over. I am that happy to be rid of it.

So here I am, 15 months into breastfeeding, cutting ties to the breastpump, and hoping for many more months of nursing to come! Here’s to hoping for the best!

It’s not clothes, or pumps, special little slings, or pillows. Aside from the hungry baby (that’s a pretty obvious pre-requisite right?), mothers need little more than support! Support from family, friends, hospital staff, and anyone else a person could think of. Without support, breastfeeding can become a minefield of self-doubt, problems, questions, and frustration that some mothers can traverse alone, but many others fall prey to the situation. Often, a mother feels that it’s her fault if a breastfeeding relationship does not take off or go well.

Let’s define support when we’re talking about breastfeeding. Supporting a breastfeeding mother goes a little farther than just supporting the mother. Breastfeeding support has to look a little beyond what the mother sees and help encourage and guide her to the information she needs. Sometimes, support will entail supporting a mother’s decision to stop breastfeeding after a long and arduous journey. More commonly however, it’s the job of our support system to encourage us, remind us that we’re amazing, help us find information and answers to questions that we need, and a heaping of understanding.

For some of us support comes from family and friends, for others it comes from classes and lactation consultants, and for fewer still sheer self-determination and the information required to accomplish the task is all that is required.

In our part of the world, breastfeeding has became one of those things that everyone talks about being so great, but when it comes to action there aren’t quite as many positive remarks to be found. For some people, they know breastfeeding is great, but only if you do it at home, or in bathrooms, or if you stop by a certain age. Go beyond those boundaries and suddenly you find yourself at odds with the world (in you own mind at least and maybe part of the world anyway), making it more important to seek out individuals that will continue to support your goals and wishes. Until the societal views on breastfeeding and it’s appropriateness changes, support will continue to be a thing that needs to be found, instead of something that is assumed.

It does not matter if your goal is to breastfeed for one month, six, a year, or more. It does not matter if you want to exclusively pump, never pump, or part-time formula feed. Support is the single greatest thing to have in your arsenal to help you meet or even exceed those goals.

The decision of breastfeeding is enough to be a life-changing experience. It comes during a time when a whole slew of other life changing experiences are about to occur. Especially for first time mothers, the unknown of motherhood and life with baby can be enough to make anyone’s head spin. It’s really nice to have someone there to hold you up while you’re still dizzy.

If you find yourself in the role of the supporter, thank you.