Mother Unexpected

I listened to a story yesterday about a young woman that gave birth at home (was unaware that she was pregnant) and was transported to a local hosptial because the baby was lethargic, they were shocked, and she had still not delieved the placenta. Emergency personnel arrived and the baby was warmed and given oxygen, they were transported to a local hospital.

Doesn’t sound like it has anything to do with breastfeeding does it? But it does. It has a lot to do with breastfeeding.

The hospital they were originally admitted to was a local hospital that had no obstetrics department and no pediatric department. They had lost their obstetrics department about a year previously due to budget concerns. Supposedly they were supposed to be transported via the “baby buggy”, a special pediatric ambulance from a larger city, to a larger facility. The transport did not happen.

Instead they discovered the baby’s sugar was low, so they send a security guard on a 30+ mile round trip to another hospital to obtain Similac glucose water while arranging for a local transport to that other hospital. The transport arrived to find that the mother had still not birthed the placenta and the baby was in a blanket with a space heater nearby (I wont even go into how horrible that is). The glucose water had still not arrived.

No one had recommended or suggested or had the brilliant idea of breastfeeding this infant. Until the EMS transfer crew arrived. EMS instructed this new, unexpected mother, on how to latch and she successfully breastfed the entire trip to the other hospital. Baby’s glucose was under control upon arrival. After EMS told the hospital nurses that the baby was stable and the glucose was under control and the child was still feeding, they immediately removed the child from mother and began running tests.

Now of course this is just a story I was told, of course I don’t have details, and it’s a matter of perspective. But I find that there is a very high likely-hood that this is what happened and believe that because of the rural area and the “we know what’s best mentality” of so many of the staff something as important as giving this mother the option and choice to breastfeed was overlooked or ignored. Are you asking why this bothers me?

1) This mother was being faced with the shock of just having a child, she had no choices, because she had no information available to her. Because these care providers did not suggest breastfeeding (thankfully someone finally did) they were stripping this mother of her right to choose how to feed her child. If you do not know there is an option, you have none.

2)This mother had not delivered her placenta and fundal massage was unproductive. Breastfeeding and nipple stimulation could have encouraged contractions and improved the chances of delivering the placenta more quickly.

3)A 30 minute wait to recover glucose levels was unnecessary. The mother was readily available and willing to breastfeed her child. She just did not know that she could. Breastmilk will raise glucose levels and keep them level longer, sugar water is nothing special. The glucose water had not arrived by the time she and baby were ready for transport anyway. That was an avoidable risk.

It doesn’t matter who you are, what happened, how it happened, or why it happened. It happened to this mother and she and her child deserved the information and the best research based care possible. I understand that this hospital no longer had an obstetrics department, but breastfeeding should be something that is learned by anyone that has any chance of coming into contact with a mother and child that could have a nursing relationship.

I say that this happened in rural America, because it did. I’m not saying that this doesn’t happen in larger cities, or that we’re backhills idiots, but the facts are, we are behind in technology, staffing, and available continuing education. We are at a disadvantage because of topology, distances, and populations. Rural America has a lot of “sticks” but we always pick up the short end.

This mother gave it a try after being given the information that she could, and unfortunately, she will probably be stripped from that opportunity at the next hospital due to the circumstances of her unassisted, unmonitored birth. Because of this baby’s unknown history and care, breastfeeding should be at the top of the list if the mother wants to give it a shot. When did we stop caring about the families and start paying more attention to convenience of the providers? Mothers need more support. Even one EMS worker for a 30 minute ride can make a difference. This mother breastfed her infant, because she wanted to, even if that will be the last time.

… the breastpump that is. It has come time to put away the whirring cyclic pumping machine with which I have became all too familiar. K-Kitten is 15 months old now and I have no more need to continue to pump at work. Now, with that said, this is far from the end of our nursing relationship! She has her cow’s milk and water while I’m away at work, but nursing and cuddling together is still something that is very much part of our lives.

Just yesterday, I was reminded at how grateful I am to still be nursing her. Father Unexpected was packing a great deal of her infant things to take to my brother-in-law for their upcoming arrival. K-Kitten being the adventurous one she is, decided it was the perfect time to “help” daddy with the chore. It resulted in an infant seat to the head. After a look of shock at her father, she ran to me squalling. After some words of comfort and more tears we nursed for about 30 seconds and she stopped and went back to “helping” again. It was truly as if nothing had ever happened. There was no hugging and petting and pleading or convincing that she was ok. It wasn’t a 15 minute ordeal. A bonk to the head that resulted in not so much as a red place was placated in under a minute by the wonders of the boob!

It’s been a while now since I have faithfully pumped however, and I’ve not been able to put the monster away. I keep thinking to myself that once I put it away in the closet it signals an end to this wonderful relationship, like once I do this one little thing, it’s all going to fall apart at the seams. Well, it’s true that K-Kitten does not nurse nearly like she used to, but it’s far from over. Leaving that ugly pump sitting in the living room collecting dust is doing nothing to ensure we continue to nurse at this point and quite frankly — if I didn’t pay so much money for it, I would throw it behind the tire of the car and run it over. I am that happy to be rid of it.

So here I am, 15 months into breastfeeding, cutting ties to the breastpump, and hoping for many more months of nursing to come! Here’s to hoping for the best!

It’s not clothes, or pumps, special little slings, or pillows. Aside from the hungry baby (that’s a pretty obvious pre-requisite right?), mothers need little more than support! Support from family, friends, hospital staff, and anyone else a person could think of. Without support, breastfeeding can become a minefield of self-doubt, problems, questions, and frustration that some mothers can traverse alone, but many others fall prey to the situation. Often, a mother feels that it’s her fault if a breastfeeding relationship does not take off or go well.

Let’s define support when we’re talking about breastfeeding. Supporting a breastfeeding mother goes a little farther than just supporting the mother. Breastfeeding support has to look a little beyond what the mother sees and help encourage and guide her to the information she needs. Sometimes, support will entail supporting a mother’s decision to stop breastfeeding after a long and arduous journey. More commonly however, it’s the job of our support system to encourage us, remind us that we’re amazing, help us find information and answers to questions that we need, and a heaping of understanding.

For some of us support comes from family and friends, for others it comes from classes and lactation consultants, and for fewer still sheer self-determination and the information required to accomplish the task is all that is required.

In our part of the world, breastfeeding has became one of those things that everyone talks about being so great, but when it comes to action there aren’t quite as many positive remarks to be found. For some people, they know breastfeeding is great, but only if you do it at home, or in bathrooms, or if you stop by a certain age. Go beyond those boundaries and suddenly you find yourself at odds with the world (in you own mind at least and maybe part of the world anyway), making it more important to seek out individuals that will continue to support your goals and wishes. Until the societal views on breastfeeding and it’s appropriateness changes, support will continue to be a thing that needs to be found, instead of something that is assumed.

It does not matter if your goal is to breastfeed for one month, six, a year, or more. It does not matter if you want to exclusively pump, never pump, or part-time formula feed. Support is the single greatest thing to have in your arsenal to help you meet or even exceed those goals.

The decision of breastfeeding is enough to be a life-changing experience. It comes during a time when a whole slew of other life changing experiences are about to occur. Especially for first time mothers, the unknown of motherhood and life with baby can be enough to make anyone’s head spin. It’s really nice to have someone there to hold you up while you’re still dizzy.

If you find yourself in the role of the supporter, thank you.

K-kitten is almost 11 months old now and I’m still breastfeeding. I’ve been back to work now full-time outside of the home since she was the tender age of six weeks. I’ve pumped at work and been able to provide her with enough breastmilk to avoid having to supplement with any formula while I’m away from her. I wanted to share some of the things I have discovered and learned from this journey to hopefully help other pumping/working moms stay encouraged and hopeful.

1)She ate more than I pumped. It terrified me, I was 100% positive that I needed to pump at least as much or more than she was eating at every feeding to keep up. Some days she was eating 18 or 19 ounces of milk when at best I was only bringing home about 16. At that rate, our small freezer supply would die out and I would have to bring in outside nutrition (in the form of formula).

Then I made a fantastic discovery! I asked her caregivers to note what time she ate and how much for a couple of days. I also asked them to kind of notate what she was doing and why they decided to give her a bottle (these were family members, so I really wasn’t being too mean I hope). I discovered that she was eating a lot more with them than she would have nursed if I were home all that day. I also discovered that sometimes she wouldn’t finish the bottles entirely.

I had been putting milk in 3 ounces at a time in bags, so my first step was to reduce that. I made 2 ounce and 1 ounce bags in addition to always making 3 ounce bags. It made for a little more work, but it was a lot less disheartening to throw out less “liquid gold” and warm up a little more if she wanted it.

The kicker was: I asked my caregivers to try to distract before assuming hunger. I didn’t say don’t give her the bottle, but if it had only been an hour since she had a good 3 or 4 ounce bottle and she stops crying when you pick her up and go outside. Chances are she was just bored.

Doing these things, and encouraging her to nurse more at night (reverse cycle), she went from an 18 ounce during workday barracuda to a 10 ounce or less perfectly happy and healthy infant. She passed all of her well-baby checks with flying colors!

2)Finding the time (or the place) to pump at work. I work in a predominately male field/office. Talking to the boss-men about pumping breastmilk was the second hardest thing I’ve ever talked to them about (being pregnant being numero uno). I felt like it was going to be terribly hard for them to understand how important this was to me and my family. I was surprised.

Just the simple act of talking to them before I officially came back to work allowed them to mention it to a few of my co-workers who would later be the offices I “occupied” when I needed the space and privacy. No one questioned it, and no one still questions it.

I had to get brave. Working in the field a lot I’ve had to walk up to complete strangers everywhere from hospitals to small offices and ask to borrow a room with and outlet and explain why I needed it. While not all of them had a quick answer for me, they all helped me out in any way they could. A male manager even stood outside an break room door for me while I pumped since it had no lock and they had no other room to offer me.

3)I’ll never be able to pump more for when she’s bigger. I was sure watching all my friends children grow up and go to increasingly larger bottles of formula that I would never be able to keep up milk production for bottles like that.

Funny thing is, she’s never needed a bottle like that. She’s still using the little four ounce nursers she’s had since she was a tiny one and at most she’ll take about 6 ounces. She’s 11 months old, eats limited solids, and still only eats anywhere from 8 to 15 ounces of breastmilk a day while I’m at work. She nurses the most at night.

4)I’ll never be able to function at work if she nurses all night. I thought if I had to keep feeding her at night I would be a zombie or worse during the day. When she was really small and she slept in her crib most of the night, I can say that was partially true, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had imagined. Then one day I took her to bed with me in the guest room. We have been there ever since.

She eats when she wants and I sleep to my heart’s content. I was so scared of her falling out of bed that I still sleep in the guest room where it’s a daybed with a trundle bed underneath (a second pull out bed). I pull the second bed out partially at night so if she does decide to go adventuring she just scoots off like a cushy staircase (by the way it does work, she can climb up and down it on purpose now).

Sometimes we still start out in her crib and end up in bed, I could probably return her to her crib anytime she was done nursing, but to be honest, I’m just too lazy for that. I enjoy staying right where I am and not having to fully wake up.

5)Getting over the stigma, criticism, dirty looks, etc. I hate it when people don’t understand what you’re doing and don’t care to try. On my last point in this post, it has to be the hardest to try to explain and give advice on.

People are mean, ignorant, and sometimes all-around self-righteous. I’m not saying everyone is, and I’m not saying anyone is stupid or doing it just because. I’m saying that there are people in this world that do not care if you feel you are doing what is best for yourself and/or your child and have no bad feelings about telling you exactly how they feel about it.

But in that paragraph, I have also given the answer. How they feel about it does not mean you have to feel the same way. You have no obligation to anyone but yourself for your own personal feelings. The best way to deal with those other things, is to simply educate with a small tidbit of factual information, politely accept criticism, reinforce that you do not have to accept their point of view, and carry on about your business.

You do not have to have a debate in the supermarket check-out line, you do not have to explain yourself, and you most certainly do not have to stop.

______________________________________________________________

Have you encountered problems with breastfeeding/pumping at work that I haven’t mentioned here? Did you do things differently? What worked for you.

Ameda has launched a new breastfeeding campaign! “I breastfeed because…” was launched to help raise awareness of breastfeeding and support breastfeeding moms.

As a quick post today, I want to share why I breastfeed.

I breastfeed because it was the choice that meant the most to me and my family. It made sense. Now that I have breastfeed, I continue to breastfeed because… the look on my daughter’s face melts my heart, only I can provide a comfort like that, and she provides me the same comfort. I will continue to breastfeed as long as possible because I believe the benefits don’t stop here. We’ll keep going until we both choose to stop.

I have a thousand different reasons that I just can’t explain. There’s something so transforming about breastfeeding. It’s changed who I am, what I feel, and how I relate to the world around me. It’s such a profound change and breastfeeding is such a powerful thing.

Happy World Breastfeeding Month! (And happy breastfeeding all year ’round).

____________________________________________________________

Why do you or do you plan to breastfeed? Head over to http://www.ibreastfeedbecause.com and let everyone know. Visit MommyNewsBlog and enter for your chance to win an Ameda Purely Yours breastpump!

Sorry I don’t usually edit to update, but myameda re-tweeted me. Little things people, little things. I’m beaming. Check it out!

I’m having a REALLY hard time keeping my away-from-home milk supply up. My freezer stash is down to less than half of what it was when I started back to work. I’m only pumping about half as much to take home as I was when I first started as well. So, here I am. I have to do something, I want my milk supply back in a bad way and I guess I’m going to have to fight to get it back if I can.

Everyone ready to see the plan of action?

• Start pumping twice a day again. I had to drop down to once a day due to time constraints.
• Stop/cut back on my smoking. Stress. That’s all I can say about that.
  
• Make a genuine effort to eat right. No more skipping breakfast and having gas-station lunches.
• Quit looking in the freezer. I just get more dissappointed, and wonder why I’m even trying.

I’ve started pumping twice a day again, starting today. As a matter of fact, I’m pumping as I type. I may actually have some power pumping — great overview of power pumping from Ain’t No Mom Jeans linked –sessions at home and over the weekend this week. I’m probably going to reserve galactagogues for the last resort, I’ve never been much on “taking” anything.

My hopes are if I can get back into the habit of pumping more, eating right — getting those much needed calories, and stop worrying and stressing so much, I can get a little bit taller milk tower in the freezer and quit panicking every time FU wants to go out for an evening alone and leave K-Kitten with his mom. She’s old enough now that I shouldn’t worry so much, that and FU tends to fix her too much milk in hopes of a lovely mid morning nap.

Maybe it’s just where K-Kitten has started eating more solids that I’m just plain out freaking. But regardless…

I’m. Not. Done. Yet!

______________________________________________________________________________________

Have you ever struggled with low milk supply? Were you able to recover? Did you have to supplement? How old were your nurslings? Any suggestions?

When I was still pregnant, Father Unexpected used to half-joke that if I wasn’t going to breastfeed he would have to tie me up to the bed and milk me like a cow. It was that important to him. I doubt he would have joked anything like that if I was not on board with breastfeeding. But since I was, it didn’t hurt to make some snide comments now and again, and the mental picture is quite hilarious to me.

I knew I wanted to breastfeed, I was always told it was best for babies. I figured I would breastfeed until she started solid foods around 4 months and we’d start weaning. I figured I would have my boobs back in a year or so, I didn’t know then that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended not only exclusive breastfeeding for six months, but the continuance of breastfeeding for at least a year and beyond if mutually desired. I had never even heard of the World Health Organization or the fact that they recommend 2 years instead of just one like the AAP. I had no idea that everything I had ever seen being done wasn’t even recommended by either of these organizations. I figured I would be done with breastfeeding long before a year was up.

Originally, my decision to breastfeed had little to do with all the health benefits and great things that come from it… quite frankly, I was just cheap. I did not want to spend all that money on formula. Breastfeeding continues to be free. The most I have spent, has been on things that I didn’t have to have, but they just made things easier or made me feel better.

I didn’t take any breastfeeding classes, I did read everything I could come up with on the internet though, I guess I’m a pretty private person. The idea of having to sit in a class with a group of x number of couples/women (that I probably wouldn’t like much) did not sit right with me. I learned everything I know about latching and common problems from things I read on the internet. And let me tell you, I’m 100% positive that I was MORE informed than the nurses at the hospital I birthed at.

Kellymom.com I would have to say was my #1 resource the entire time I’ve been on this breastfeeding journey. The information I’ve found there (and the resources compiled there) have empowered me to stick to my guns about my decisions for my daughter and breastfeeding.

I didn’t think I would catch as much crap as I have for breastfeeding. I had always assumed that it was much more accepted than it really is. People are mean. People are ill-educated. My own mother-in-law has said some of the most mean and hurtful things to me. Something turned on inside of me, suddenly it wasn’t just about the money or giving it a try, it was about me, about my daughter, and about what was best for BOTH of us.

After seeing how hard it was, not the actual act of breastfeeding, but overcoming this outdated system we live with. I changed my whole perspective on life. Doctors are not to be taken without a grain of salt, we as patients have to remember we’re paying them for advice about how to take care of our own health. They do not have all the answers and as a matter of fact, try going to one or two about the same thing and I bet you’ll get a couple different answers.

I’ve switched pediatricians three times since K-Kitten was born. The first was convinced that I was going to do something to hurt my daughter because I was so adamant about no supplements and not giving cereal at 4 months (he’d freak if he knew that now 8 months into life she’s never had cereal). The next decided that because she was breastfed that she had to have iron supplements or she “would have developmental problems”. Finally, I’ve found a pediatrician, that may not agree with me, but doesn’t force her opinion she backs everything she has to say up and expects a fight from me. She is truly a “health advocate” and I expect nothing less.

Breastfeeding changed who I am, and how I look at myself.

I no longer go with the flow, accepting everything at face value. I stopped making decisions based on general opinion instead of fact. I stopped being a doormat.

And I am not alone.

I am a stronger, happier, more educated, and much more passionate woman.

Because of breastfeeding. Oh yeah, and breastfeeding keeps me sane. Seriously.

_______________________________________________________________________________

How did breastfeeding impact your life? Did you have any particularly hard situations? Why did you want to breastfeed? Did you change your mind later? How long did you breastfeed? Did you take any classes? Was breastfeeding what you thought it would be?

“Breast is Best” has been the unofficial slogan for breastfeeding for as long as I can remember. I never really thought much of it, other than the fact that it has always stuck out in my mind. The Breastfeeding Network is wanting to change that. Lesley Backhouse, chair of TBN, wrote to the Department of Health in the UK asking that the use of the slogan be discontinued. Her argument was that we needed to quit treating breastfeeding as something special instead of something normal.

I expected when I read the article to hear about how the campaigners were calling it unfair or something along those lines. It threw me for a loop when I read on to discover that those that were calling to stop using the slogan were breastfeeding advocates. I understand that breastfeeding is normal and that they want to stop a push that may make it seem like only a select few are doing it, or that we’re part of a groovy ty-squad special club. The problem is, what will people say now?

Should we tout “Formula is an avoidable health risk.”? I don’t think that would go over so well, but apparently others think that that’s the type of slogan that should be out there. Lesley also stated:

“What we should be saying – and are intent on getting across – is that formula feeding is an avoidable health risk to babies.”

Unfortunately, the Department of Health‘s slogan isn’t even “Breast is Best”. As a matter of fact, all I can find on their website (which may have been changed between news reports and now) is “Breastfeeding — What could be more natural?”. Regardless of how you say it, the idea is to get the word out that breast milk is an exceptional food for babies and they thrive very well on it. I mean, breast milk isn’t just milk from breasts in this case, it’s human milk for human babies.

No matter what slogan you use or support, someone is going to feel that it’s a “guilt trip” on those that can’t/won’t/don’t breastfeed. Unfortunately, that’s the nature of the beast. There are too many opinions and misinformation in the world to be so cut and dry about it. Breastfeeding is the best scenario for a baby, but it’s not always possible.

We need to get the word out, that breastfeeding is doable in almost all cases (there are some genuine medical reasons that it can not be done or should be stopped) and that a majority of women stop because of bad information from someone they trust with good intentions. In every situation, we should not be playing the guilt card, but it should be a chance to inform women that their bodies are amazing and although it’s can be a tedious road to success, breastfeeding should be given a valiant effort.

In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need a slogan for breastfeeding, everyone would know that breastfeeding has so many benefits that are lacking in formula feeding. Sadly, there are still those out there that don’t even know where to start, or have that bad information. If we have to have a slogan just to start a conversation about breastfeeding I think “Breast is Best” is a fine choice. It’s short, sweet and to the point. It can sound condescending in the wrong context, but it’s a lot nicer than “Formula is an avoidable health risk” and I find you catch more flies with honey.

Our goal as breastfeeding advocates shouldn’t be to guilt or force breastfeeding. It should be to empower women to believe in their bodies, help them overcome their fears and obstacles, and support them in the decisions they make for themselves and their families regardless of what they may be.

An unofficial slogan is just that. Unofficial.

Instead of fighting to stop using a slogan that will probably be used anyway is a waste of time. We should be fighting for better maternity leaves, trained lactation professional care for new mothers, financial assistance for pumps and equipment, making milk bank milk more affordable/accessible for those that medically can not breastfeed, and most importantly helping mothers make the most informed decision they can regarding their families.

We can’t magically change everyone’s minds, but we can help them make up their own with the right information and support. Changing a slogan is not going to change society.

Breastfeeding is normal. Breastfeeding is better than formula in a lot of different ways. Was this always the way of thinking? NO. Has it always been true? YES. Should a slogan be the sole encouragement to breastfeed? NO.

A few words just aren’t enough. But a few words can get the ball rolling.

______________________________________________________________________

Will changing the slogan change the way you feel about breastfeeding? Do you think it will change the minds of society? Does it make breastfeeding seem like something that only the “elite” can accomplish? What do you think would be a better slogan?

Ever since I had a baby, the most popular question I get asked when talking about her has been “Does she sleep through the night?” Most people seem almost disgusted when I tell them that she doesn’t, as if because of her sleep patterns I’m not doing something right. Or they have a thousand tricks to get her to sleep through the night, like it’s something that has to be done for her to be considered a “good” baby. I’ve heard all kinds of off the wall comments about K-Kitten’s sleep patterns.

• Put cereal in her bottle. She’ll sleep longer, because her tummy will stay fuller longer.
• Don’t let her naps go to long during the day. Wake her up so she’ll be more tired at night.
• If you put her to bed and she cries, don’t pick her up, she’ll learn to put herself to sleep.
• She doesn’t need to eat at night, she’s only doing it out of habit.

I will admit that some of those suggestions may work, some may not, and all are simply opinion, even researchers can’t agree.

I will never feed my baby cereal in a bottle, I’ve yet to feed her baby cereal, and she certainly wouldn’t get it in a bottle. There are too many dangers associated with cereal in bottles. Cereal is an empty calorie and apart from being an aspiration hazard in a bottle, it could lead to a child that over eats regularly. It can throw a babies full/empty tummy meter completely out of whack. Leading to…. you guessed it! Increased risk of Obesity.

Napping too much through the day could logically cause a baby to sleep less at night. I don’t have a problem with waking up my napping babe if we have to go somewhere or if it’s apparent she’s pooped all over herself (she’s notorious for not caring a lick about how dirty her diaper is). However, waking her up early from her naps usually leads to an extra nap before bedtime and actually causes her to stay up later than she would because of that extra nap. So, that still doesn’t affect the amount of time she sleeps at night for me.

Crying it out, or the Ferber method, has been fought for on both sides of the fence more times than I care to think about. There are a number of reasons for us and many others that cry-it-out is just not the solution. I’m sure there are those that would argue that there’s nothing detrimental with the cry-it-out method, but I just can’t listen to my little girl cry for us for any reason and ignore her on purpose. Everyone comments on how she’s such a happy baby, and I think our prompt response to her needs when it’s warranted is a contributing factor. I don’t rush to her rescue when it’s apparent she doesn’t need immediate attention (yeah, I know what she’s wanting when she cries), I do however console and remedy the issue before she gives up hope.

I see the Ferber method as “breaking” a child. Convincing them that they have no choice but to stay there and either amuse themselves or go to sleep because no one is coming. I think it backfires on parents as well. A parent that listens to their child cry and forces themselves to ignore it have a tendency to block out the cry in varying degrees all throughout the day and night.

In the case of eating at night, my little K-Kitten does need to eat at night. How do I know? Because she asks to eat. Other than her cues, she reverse cycled when I went back to working full time. On average a baby over 12lbs would eat 19 – 32 oz (estimates and a big variable), K-Kitten averages 8 – 15 oz while I’m gone to work. She nurses when I get home, once at bedtime, and once about 12am and then again at 6am. So she wakes up once at night to nurse. I’m OK with that, so it shouldn’t be an issue right? Unfortunately, everyone doesn’t see it that way. But I really don’t care about them.

So what’s a momma to do?! There are lots of more gentle way’s to get a baby to sleep, to stay asleep, and to put yourself in a better frame of mind to deal with night-waking. Some of those ways include:

• Create a routine. Babies thrive on routine, and are more likely to go to sleep when they “know” it’s bedtime.
• Fresh air and exercise. Maybe not for the fresh air, but being in a house all day is boring. Engage their minds.
• Consistent napping, one missed nap could lead to a lot of trouble. Cranky babies are a lot less likely to go to sleep without a fight.

Most of all, there’s no right and wrong way to do things as a parent. What I do for my children could be exactly what you would never do. If everything was one-size-fits all, then there wouldn’t be so many different ways to do things. Just don’t do something because someone else thinks that’s how the world needs to be. Be informed, make up your own mind. Please though, get the information, and remember that just because what I do wouldn’t be what you would do, it doesn’t make me a failure/bad parent/monster.

My baby doesn’t sleep through the night, and I’m not gonna make her.

_____________________________________________________________

Has someone looked at you like you were a bad parent because of a milestone like sleeping through the night? Does your baby sleep through the night? Did you use cry-it-out with success? Does night-waking bother you?

My name is Lara, or Mother Unexpected. I am a network technician in the southern hills of Eastern Kentucky. I married my high school sweetheart, albeit five years after high school. I have an Associates Degree in Network Administration and I like to think I’m pretty darn smart about a few things.

I became a parent on October 15th 2009. I became a mother sometime between then and now.

A long time ago, the thought of becoming a mother never occurred to me as a possibility (just ask my parents, they were as surprised as anyone to find out that Unexpected was expecting). I never thought I would breastfeed, baby-wearing was something that wasn’t done in America, and Doctors were always right. Now I find that I don’t trust Doctors as much more than educated schooled advisors, breastfeeding is something that everyone should attempt with gusto, and baby-wearing is a necessity.

When I gave birth, I had a birth that ALMOST went completely according to plan. One small thing, a dose of staydol, haunts me and made me feel like all control was ripped away from me for the convenience of everyone else in the delivery room. I felt like another tick on someone’s to-do list and although I have a beautiful daughter to show for it, I can’t get over it.

I feel that I needed to start this blog for a million different reasons, I started it for only one:

Information, experience, and support can save so much heartache. I want to share my love, joy, fears, and most of all hope. I want to inspire.

Expect to read about breastfeeding, baby-wearing, cultural stigmas we face in America, and anything else you can think of. I want to meet you, please feel free to leave me comments of a constructive nature (no bashing please, adult discussion welcome). My blog is still under serious contruction and will find it’s permanent home soon. If you find me before then, I still want to hear from you!

__________________________________________________________

Edit: 6/15/2010 3:13pm — http://www.motherunexpected.com is live and running. This blog has found it’s permanent home, now to work on the look. Tell your friends!